Success: Aim For The Heart
It was "city-county." The big swim meet. The meet we worked toward all year. Every swim team in the county competed. Our team was in second place leading into the meet. The points for this final meet are tripled. Could we catch our rivals?
My kids prepared hard. Two practices a day in the final week. Would they swim personal bests? Would they win lots of points? Would they get ribbons and medals like they did last year. Then came the meet.
Two of my children swam their best times all year. A third medaled in a thrilling IM, and swam the anchor on the relay.
And then there was my other child. Goggles came off during the dive in her freestyle. Came in last in her heat. Left the pool in tears. Struggled in the butterfly. Placed poorly in the long free. Swam her worst times of the year.
She tried to be happy for the team and for the success of her siblings, but her slumped shoulders and forced smile gave away the true condition of her heart.
I knew God was providing a teachable moment. What would I say? How would I help her process what happened? What does God think about her performance?
The next day, we took a walk together. Father and daughter. Enjoying the beauty of a sunny Virginian day, I waded into deeper waters.
"What did you think about the meet?", I asked.
"I don't like swimming. I really didn't like city county this year.", she replied.
"I know. Those goggles coming off really threw you for a loop", I said.
She nodded.
"I want you to know, this year was a big success. Even city county", I added.
She looked at me like ... yeah, right Dad ...
I continued.
"I am proud of your attitude and how hard you prepared and tried. You gave it your best. And there was something else that happened. I really liked how you reached out to Kathryn and Will this year."
I paused to let the words sink in. And then continued...
"Their dad spoke to me at city county", I added. "He told me how grateful they were that you invited their kids to be on the team. He said it was a great experience for their whole family, and that they really enjoyed getting to be better friends with us."
Her countenance began to change a little. I went on...
"Because of you, we are closer with their family. And that is important. God wants us to reach out and make friends in the neighborhood, to share God's love with them, and to share the good news about Jesus with them. I just wanted you to know that you made a huge difference in something that really matters. You reached out and included them."
"Yeah, I guess you are right about that. What do they think about Jesus?", she asked.
"I am not sure, but we are getting to be good friends with them now. Friends get to talk about things like that. So thank you for what you did."
She smiled.
Success is what God chooses to do through us. Success is also a condition of the heart. We want all sorts of things for our children: a good education, a good job, a good spouse, a life free from the pain of poor choices. But there is one goal that should always be the highest goal. That goal is for our children to have a heart that longs for God. As David wrote in Psalms 84, better is one day in your courts, then a thousand elsewhere. That is the goal. To cultivate a heart that longs to be with God. That is what we should want most. That is what success looks like.